Grandma Robbed Royalty Ranch

My grandmother is the sweetest person in the world. She's adorable. I don't recall her ever not looking like a sweet TV grandmother (obviously, this doesn't apply to photos). Grandma's 85 now, and as such has begun to lose some height, but the tallest I ever recall her being is 5' even (that probably wasn't different even in old photos). I don't recall her ever having any color to her hair, just really pretty, silver hair, and always cut very, very short. She is by no means fat, but she's got a bit of a tummy. She just looks like a sweet, old grandma. My grandpa just looks like your stereotypical elderly Swedish man - tall, rail thin, ears that grow two inches a day :-) To further their adorableness, my grandparents frequently split items when they have meals. I've never seen either of them have a whole can of soda to themselves - they split their cans of soda evenly.

About ten years ago, my grandparents, then 75 and 79, went into a Royalty Ranch in the tiny town they live in. They ordered a Junior Whomp-Whomp meal. They took their food back to their table, started dividing their french fries, then realized they were going to need to cut the burger to split it. So, 75-year-old, five feet tall, slightly unstable on her feet Grandma got up and walked back up to the counter. The 6'2", fairly buff, 18-year-old Royalty Ranch employee walked over and asked from the other side of the counter. Grandma, in her tiny sweetness, asks "Can I have a knife?"

Royalty Ranch employee throws his hands up and takes a small step back from the counter. "Absolutely, ma'am. Anything you want."

It took Grandma a moment realize he had misheard her, at which point she gasped in horror and quickly explained the situation. "No! No, no, no! Honey, I'm asking for a plastic knife. To cut my burger with. I do not have a knife. I don't want to hurt you or take anything. I just want to cut my burger."

Royalty Ranch employee breathed a heavy sigh of relief and handed her a plastic knife. Grandma, trying hard not to laugh, returned to the table where Grandpa was waiting...with the local Sheriff, a friend who had sat down to chat with him while Grandma "tried to rob Royalty Ranch."

I'd like to mention, by the way, that as adorable and misguided as the employee's reaction was, good for him. I'm glad he wouldn't have thought "Oh, I can take her" and put everybody in the restaurant in possible jeopardy. Over reaction? Absolutely. But if he thought there was a legitimate threat, his reaction was completely correct.